DO NOT Read: I am Not a Relationship Guru

It's not the love month, I know.

Nonetheless, as they say, when you're in love, every waking moment with the one you love makes you feel the magic of it no matter what month of the year it may be - all year round -  so to speak.

Hmmm. Now that makes you think I'm in love, huh?

Steve Burns, the original host of the
children's show Blues Clues.

The idea behind this came out hot and fresh the oven when I was on board the front seat of a passenger jeep in transit along the stretch of Congressional Avenue, mind you. Since using your mobile phone in this situation is a big no-no, unless you're giving it away to the "good guys", I immediately grabbed a pen and a notebook. It's good that I have a handy-dandy notebook with me. Yes! You're still on my blog and I am definitely not Steve of Blues Clues. 

Kidding aside, let me begin by saying that I am no expert or guru in this field nor do I pretend to act or play like one. What I'll be blogging about are random nothings when it comes to a relationship.  Some, or should I say most of the things here are based on real-life scenarios and experiences. Some of you guys, might even say that these are just petty stuff or as a fellow blogger Janina, in her blog Codswallop, what I'll be blabbering about are just plain non-sense.

Anyways, since this blog is mine, I am free to blog about anything random...

Here are my 5 Do's and Dont's (to a Blissful Relationship)

DO'S:

5. Always bring stuff with you.

When I say "stuff", I am talking of two things:

• BAG - This is synonymous to the saying, "Do not leave your valuables unattended". Whether you two as a couple share some stuff, you still have your own. Admit it. We all have our own personal stuff. It's best to have a bag that's just right for personal stuff you usually bring wherever you go. Be it a belt bag, a sling bag, a messenger bag, a backpack or what not. Thing is, you don't want your special someone end up acting as a baggage counter because of your things, do you? 

• UMBRELLA - The Philippine weather nowadays is very much unpredictable. At some point of the day, the sun shines at its brightest and then suddenly heavy rains will begin to pour. You don't want to get wet all over just because you don't have an umbrella or any rain gear for that matter, do you? As GMA Weather says it, it would be best that you say "I am ready" rather than be sorry.

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4. Listen attentively at all times.

This is one of the many culprits between conflicts among many couples. Misunderstandings are very much common as good listening skills, of one or another or both,  are not put into good use. As Paul Tillich says it, "The first duty of love is to listen". Need I say more? Check out The 10 Principles of Listening to know more on how you can improve your listening skills.

3. Think and move fast. 

Now that we live in a digital world, wherein almost everything is just a touch of a button away, you should not let yourself be left behind. When you are to make a decision, make it quick! Yes! I know that there is a need to weigh the pros and cons of things but you're not equipped with a Pentium I processor to take you that much. The time spent thinking or acting on a decision could have been a quality time spent together with the one you love. Wouldn't you want that instead?

2. Trust him/her.

Yeah, right! I know this has been said time and again already but yes, I am saying this once again. Hmpft! This is not the kind of TRUST your dirty little mind is thinking of. Haha. Well, on a different note, condoms undeniably prevent unplanned and unwanted pregnancies and also the spread of many sexually transmitted infections including HIV. But, that is another story. Whatever circumstance it may be, always put your confidence in him/her. Relationships would be best, if not better, I believe, if trust is one of its main foundations. 

1. Talk often.

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As with any other relationships, conflicts do arise. And what better way to resolve one? TALK. Try to sit down and talk with him/her with an open heart and mind ready to resolve whatever problem you both have. Say for example, you caught him/her red-handed chatting with someone on a mobile dating application, instead of you burning your bridges, try holding unto your horses and discuss the matter with him/her. As the famous adage from John Ruskin goes, "It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride". 

DONT'S:

5. Ask too many questions. NEVER

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They say that smart people ask a lot of questions. While that may be true, it is also true that that may not always be the case. 

You must know which questions are worth asking and which aren't. Try to ask questions on things that interest him/her. In that way, not only will you learn something from him/her but you'll also engage yourselves in a healthy discussion. Stupid, non-sense questions are among some that need not be asked. 

More often than not, asking these types of questions would more likely lead to confrontations. You know why!

4. Interrupt when he/she is on the phone.

How would you feel if you're talking on the phone and then suddenly someone just interrupts you? You got it right! Now, need I say more. Interrupting is a form of communication barrier which more often than not would lead to a lot of no good situations. Check out this interesting read on How to Stop Interrupting Others.

3. Swipe his/her credit card for your own consumption.
Yes! As they say, when two people are in a relationship, they share almost everything. But, there is a big BUT when it comes to money matters. The two of you should talk about how are you gonna share in terms of finances. I ain't talking of just credit cards here, more importantly cash included. 

Image courtesy of 365payments.com

To give you a scenario, say for example, you both go to the mall and saw something you both have long wanted. Thing is he/she has a credit card and you don't. You don't have your cash with you either. I believe it would be okay if he/she insists of getting that "something" for you and you have both agreed that you will just pay him/her once you have your money with you. However, it would be extremely wrong if you get his/her credit card and use it on your own.

2. Invade on his/her privacy.
Although you both might have broken the Guinness World Record of being together for the longest time ever, one must not forget that the term "personal space" still applies to relationships.  Furthermore, one must not also forget that there might be just some things that he/she may want to keep for him/herself. Instead of switching the "on" button of suspicions and start a havoc, why not check on DO #1? 

1. Get too physical.

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I understand that Olivia Newton-John on her hit single Physical encourages us to "get physical", but abuse, in that sense, is a no-no when it comes to relationships. I know that conflicts and misunderstandings are part and parcel of every relationship, but never ever allow anyone to, as they say in Tagalog, "pagbuhatan ng kamay". You and your partner should set limits when it comes to this issue. Read on this to find out on the 15 Signs You're In An Abusive Relationship. You may also check out ONJ's video, Physical here.


There you go! 

I do hope and pray, as if I do, you were able to benefit from my list of do's and dont's. 

Again, let me reiterate, I am no relationship guru! Bashers not allowed!

Feel free to post your "whatchathinks" in the comments section. Spread the love! <3 <3 <3

Editor's Note:

This has been once again, for the nth time possible, on the drafts section of this blog. It just so happen, again and again, that I will be publishing this today, 11 November 2013, in celebration of my 16th month of being "In a Relationship". Cheers! 

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